I’m a card-carrying member of this fine club. At the slightest invitation, I gush about my favorite podcasts, writers, and vloggers. One of my favorite cartoons (#10 at this link) shows someone admiring the book selections on the bookshelf of a person she just met and thinking, “I secretly know we are going to be good friends.” So true!
Here’s the thing, though. When my drive to consume content and devour ideas stems from a sense of inadequacy, I’m a bit like a dog chasing its tail:
- I feel the sting of falling short
- I race to the book/podcast/video/website that’s going to save me
- Dive in with a vengeance
- Proselytize about how it’s THE BEST BOOK EVER and it’s going to CHANGE MY LIFE
- With great enthusiasm, create a rigorous plan to implement everything I’ve learned
- Revel in my clean slate and fresh start and diligently track my pristine progress
- Sputter a bit, lose some steam
- Renew efforts with increased vigor
- Mentally beat up on myself
- Retreat internally
- Stay stuck
It’s a loop that I’ve followed over and over. What’s that definition of insanity? Oh yes, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Sigh.
I’ve decided to retire from the I Have to Fix Myself Club. That era is over.
I still love and inhale great content. I still look forward with vision. The difference is twofold:
- I no longer see myself as inherently broken. I believe that my actions and patterns have organic roots – I still want to address them, just not from a place of brokenness.
- I speak kindly to myself, the way I would talk to someone I cherish.
What does this mean for you? It means we can talk about what you’re struggling with, explore solutions, create a vision for your future that aligns deeply with you, and make progress, all from a place of self-care rather than self-hate.